So here goes...

I am pissed. During the past year and a half or so I have been dealing with a back injury from my job. I have had to deal with all the companies you never want to have to deal with, including insurance companies, government, health providers, lawyers. Ugh. So, I think I should tell my story here. I can get it out and if anyone wants to read this then they must be interested. At the age or 32 I had no idea I could do something so horribly to my back I could still be suffering from it, but unfortunately that's the case and it's not going away.

During this year and a half or more, I have been pushed through the system. I know I am not the only one. I have seen a lot of others in this process. I have been to numerous doctors, therapists, specialists, so on. I have had to deal with state L&I, vocational counselors, Long term disability, short term disability, IME's, PCE's, MRI's, pain management training, light duty work, lying doctors who are paid by the state, crappy lawyers, and overall good for nothing providers. This is our United States healthcare system at work?

I have found a wonderful, caring doctor and have leaned on my partner through this.

Let me start by saying, don't pay for your company's long term disability. It will never help you, it will only make you mad you paid it for so long. Tell your company (especially if the LTD plan is through Metlife) you don't want it and you don't want to pay for it. Also, if you ever get injured on the job, I am sorry. It is horrible and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. The only way I can get out of bed in the morning and move is to take pain medicine. Only the doctor who has been so supportive will prescribe it to me. All the others are scared to give anything other than anti-seizure/anti-convulsant drugs or diclofenac to their patients. Let me tell you, those are NO GOOd. All I did was shake and was still in a lot of pain.

I have been fighting to keep benefits since the day I received them from state L&I. I have been trying to get benefits from Metlife since I was injured to no avail. They are a joke. They make it where they put every clause in the world to make sure you can't get the benefits you've been paying for. Social Security disability is also a joke. I have filed twice (because my lawyer gave me bad advice the first time). I went to a medical evaluation about a month ago, and before they could talk to any of my doctors who are treating me, they denied me benefits after an 8 minute exam.

At this moment, I am on the verge of being kicked off state L&I, appealing the Social Security denial and at a loss as to what to do next with Metlife. I talked to another lawyer yesterday who wanted 8K to do any work for me and by the end of the day he sent me an email saying it probably wouldn't be worth it to file a lawsuit. The wording in their policy is so convoluted and benefits them so much, it wouldn't be worth it.

I ask you, where do I go now? I have multiple back problems that prevent me from working. I have to take a good amount of pain medicine just to function and I don't really have a skill that is transferrable to part-time work (that's if I could even do it with the pain and problems with my back). I was a television news photographer for 11 years and it finally took it's toll on me.

Potentially, I would like to go back to school, but I don't even know if I could sit in the seat for class. I am 33 now with no options.

what?!?!

I can't believe it!!!! Toyotas are screwing up!?!? So evidentally, Toyotas are having a problem with their accelerator getting stuck. People have been driving along, and all of a sudden the accelerator gets stuck and accelerates. Yikes!!! There was a car full of people driving down the highway and headed to an intersection and they couldn't slow down the car going 100mph. They all ended up dying. I have always thought Toyotas are the greatest car since the inception of cars, but this is proving my theory wrong. I know, all makes and models have their faults, but this is strange. One of our friends got his floor mats recalled. They think that is the problem, the heavy rubber mat a lot of people have been buying. I have them. They are great for winter weather/rain. Anyway, here's what you do in an emergency...

Put the car in Neutral. If that doesn't work, stomp on the brake (don't tap). If that doesn't work, pull the emergency brake.

This is really uncharacteristic for Toyota. Maybe there is a bigger problem. Many of the people who have had this happen say they don't have the rubber mats, but Toyota won't acknowledge anything other than the mats.

Today is a new day

Today has been spent trying to find me and the dog Halloween costumes. I have yet to find one for myself, but found a pumpkin outfit for the dog. I was thinking about being Speed Racer. I thought that would be super cool! I have a helmet, but I need a jacket. I guess the neighborhood we live in is a Halloween mecca. The place is full of kids being dropped off by the busload. Interesting, our last house would barely get 3 kids. I am driving a friend in a parade tomorrow, which should be fun. Will I be able to see out of the helmet to drive? Who knows, but I'll find out.

Anyway, enough with the chitter. I've found a superb place for a lot of things here, but I haven't found my favorite restaurants. Although, I am working on it daily. We have good coffee, good bagels (eventhough Mr. Stinky always comes by and ruins my bagel) and a great farmer's market.

I was thinking about using this blog as my platform for talking about what I have been through with my back over the past year and a half. I'm wondering if talking about it could help someone else or maybe I should write about food and eating it. I'm still thinking.

just thinking...

i am going to start blogging, what the hell! i had a friend who passed away recently and he blogged about his struggles with his disease and it was super informative and expressive. maybe this will be a way to kick start my writing skills again. i am not going to capitalize the first letter of each sentence really because I have gotten lazy in my age, but I really appreciate good grammar and spelling. it is important to me. i think this blog will be about a little bit of everything, my life, my quest in life and where it has taken me this far. i might be of interest to someone out there, who knows. here goes....