So here goes...

I am pissed. During the past year and a half or so I have been dealing with a back injury from my job. I have had to deal with all the companies you never want to have to deal with, including insurance companies, government, health providers, lawyers. Ugh. So, I think I should tell my story here. I can get it out and if anyone wants to read this then they must be interested. At the age or 32 I had no idea I could do something so horribly to my back I could still be suffering from it, but unfortunately that's the case and it's not going away.

During this year and a half or more, I have been pushed through the system. I know I am not the only one. I have seen a lot of others in this process. I have been to numerous doctors, therapists, specialists, so on. I have had to deal with state L&I, vocational counselors, Long term disability, short term disability, IME's, PCE's, MRI's, pain management training, light duty work, lying doctors who are paid by the state, crappy lawyers, and overall good for nothing providers. This is our United States healthcare system at work?

I have found a wonderful, caring doctor and have leaned on my partner through this.

Let me start by saying, don't pay for your company's long term disability. It will never help you, it will only make you mad you paid it for so long. Tell your company (especially if the LTD plan is through Metlife) you don't want it and you don't want to pay for it. Also, if you ever get injured on the job, I am sorry. It is horrible and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. The only way I can get out of bed in the morning and move is to take pain medicine. Only the doctor who has been so supportive will prescribe it to me. All the others are scared to give anything other than anti-seizure/anti-convulsant drugs or diclofenac to their patients. Let me tell you, those are NO GOOd. All I did was shake and was still in a lot of pain.

I have been fighting to keep benefits since the day I received them from state L&I. I have been trying to get benefits from Metlife since I was injured to no avail. They are a joke. They make it where they put every clause in the world to make sure you can't get the benefits you've been paying for. Social Security disability is also a joke. I have filed twice (because my lawyer gave me bad advice the first time). I went to a medical evaluation about a month ago, and before they could talk to any of my doctors who are treating me, they denied me benefits after an 8 minute exam.

At this moment, I am on the verge of being kicked off state L&I, appealing the Social Security denial and at a loss as to what to do next with Metlife. I talked to another lawyer yesterday who wanted 8K to do any work for me and by the end of the day he sent me an email saying it probably wouldn't be worth it to file a lawsuit. The wording in their policy is so convoluted and benefits them so much, it wouldn't be worth it.

I ask you, where do I go now? I have multiple back problems that prevent me from working. I have to take a good amount of pain medicine just to function and I don't really have a skill that is transferrable to part-time work (that's if I could even do it with the pain and problems with my back). I was a television news photographer for 11 years and it finally took it's toll on me.

Potentially, I would like to go back to school, but I don't even know if I could sit in the seat for class. I am 33 now with no options.