i woke up and checked facebook

why did i do that? i am going to try to not check facebook right when i wake up. it never is a good thing. my friend, deb, died. she had been suffering from lung cancer for way too long. i really didn't think it would happen so fast.
i got to know her when i first moved to seattle. we both moved there around the same time. we joined a gay hiking group and met each other. during that time, my mom was battling cancer. deb had already been diagnosed right before i met her. anyway, long story short, we hit it off. she was one of those people i thought i would be friends with forever. she had such an easy going attitude, we'd walk the dogs together at the dog park. her dog, phoebe, and otis got along really well. she liked what i like. it's weird. i really feel like we were meant to meet each other.
my other friend, andre, was going through the same battle. we all met around the same time, all got along great and enjoyed each other's company. andre and deb had each other to talk to. we drank too much and laughed just enough.
it hasn't yet been a year since andre passed that deb did too.
anyway, i learned of deb's passing from andre's partner, ed's facebook posting.
there isn't going to be a memorial in seattle, but only in pennsylvania where deb is from.
how do you mourn from this? i haven't yet figured it out. with andre's death, i was there. i could be helpful to ed and do something. with deb, i am not sure what to do.

Here's the latest

I have been spurred to start writing again, so you will be seeing more of me, whether you like it or not. I need this, I think. I have been fumbling around trying to figure out what to do next for about 2 years now. I've learned a lot. I've learned I don't want to work for someone else. I've learned I can rely on my strengths. I've learned I'm a pretty crafty person. I've learned I need to live life fully because you never know when it will be taken away.

I say this all because this is the reinvention of me. Here goes! I would like to do something different, something healing and positive in the world. Something that makes me smile and makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. Over the past 24 hours I have been saturated with newness. Newness that is exciting and new people who are exciting. I want to do it ALL.

So, to all you people out there who believe they need to do something different, something better for themselves, step out! Try something new.

Changing things up a bit

Recently there has been a lot of changes going on in my life. L&I has closed my back injury claim (not really sure why). I am losing my health insurance because the ARRA reduction Obama's administration enacted is going away. Now my Cobra will be 65% more. Ugh. We've had electricians all over our house for about a month now. The banging, yelling and holes in the wall are getting old. Some of my friends and me have started a food blog. We will be posting things periodically about places we eat, hear about or want to try. It's called Trythisandthis. I have been thinking lately about animal holistic care, probably massage and acupuncture. I need to reinvent myself for sure. The news business was a stinker. Will post more soon.

i should really think about writing more.

So, I am headed to the east coast this week. Of course, it is super cold there! I am going to help my sister make a huge move, both physically and mentally. I am so glad for her. The question I pose to all of you out there, why don't people move more? Why do they stay in the same place their whole lives? Is it out of comfort, safety, security? Is it because they are scared? Scared to face something different? I have noticed while reconnecting with past friends and classmates a lot of people stay where they were born or where their families live.

A friend of mine was telling me how guilty she feels about taking her daughter away from her family. She doesn't know her cousins or other family members well. Also, she said she would have a built-in babysitter. I guess these things are all true, but at what price? Your sanity and growth as an adult human?

What's more important...sticking around your family or venturing out on your own?